Why I Miss Her So Much: Coping Strategies When She Doesn’t Want You Back

This is a letter from one of our readers:

I haven’t had many close connections with anyone in my life as far as relationships go, except for this one girl. Everything about her is so different and unlike any other girl I’ve ever met, and she’s the only person who has ever truly made me feel important, or like I had a reason to exist. She made me feel good about myself, and when she was around I was just so fucking genuinely happy for once. It sounds so sappy, but this girl WAS my only reason to live. In a world full of misery and disappointment, she took away the pain and made me feel normal. That’s why I miss her so much.

But when she left, it crushed my motivation and will to do anything. I’m not me without her… I can’t even find joy in the things that used to make me happy because they remind me of her. I’m so fucking miserable without her. I still love her so much. I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel so lost. Why do the people we love the most always have to be the ones to hurt us?

At first, I just waited for her to come back, but eventually I realized that I needed to find a way to live without her. I needed to find a reason to exist that wasn’t tied to her. It was hard, but I started to focus on myself and my own growth. Slowly but surely, I began to find joy in the things that had once made me happy.

Even though I started to feel happy again, I still missed her terribly. But I began to realize that I could be happy without her. I learned that the people we love don’t have to define us, and that even when they’re gone, we can find a reason to keep going.

The Top 3 Reasons Why You Miss Her So Much After a Breakup

If you find yourself constantly thinking about her and wondering why you miss her so much, here are the top three reasons why:

1. Needing Closure

One of the primary reasons why someone might miss an ex-partner intensely is due to the lack of closure after the breakup. It’s common to have unanswered questions and unresolved feelings after a relationship ends.

You may feel the need to speak with her again, to sort things out, even if it doesn’t lead to getting back together. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to have one last conversation.

Perhaps you’re still uncertain about why the relationship ended. You might need closure to understand that it wasn’t your fault, that she simply lost interest, or for another reason that you are no longer together.

2. She Is With Someone Else

Jealousy is a common feeling after a breakup, especially if your ex-partner is now with someone else. Seeing them together can awaken a longing for her and bring back old feelings. Even if you don’t know her new partner, you might feel upset that she’s with someone new.

3. Ending on a Bad Note

Even if you did get some closure, if the last interaction between you and your ex-partner was unpleasant, you might still miss her. It’s understandable to miss someone if the relationship ended poorly.

Regardless of whose fault it was, a bad breakup can make things worse. If you feel that the ending could have gone better, it can make you miss her even more.

If the breakup was her fault, you might feel the urge to show her that you’re doing well without her. Alternatively, if it was your fault, you might miss her because you wish you could have left on better terms.

Dealing with missing your ex can be tough, but knowing the reasons why you feel this way can help you move forward. Take the time you need to heal and focus on your own well-being.

10 Other Reasons Why

As you sit alone, you can’t help but wonder: Why do you miss her so much? This question has been weighing heavily on your mind lately, and you’ve been struggling to find an answer. After much reflection, you’ve come up with ten reasons why you miss her so much.

1. She made you feel important.

One of the reasons you miss her so much is that she made you feel like you were important. When she was around, you felt like you mattered. She had a way of making you feel seen and heard, and you loved that about her.

2. She was your best friend.

Not only was she your romantic partner, but she was also your best friend. You shared everything with each other, from your deepest secrets to your most trivial thoughts. Losing her meant losing your confidant and your partner in crime.

3. She was your rock.

Whenever you were going through a tough time, she was always there for you. She would listen to you vent and offer words of encouragement. Losing her meant losing your support system.

4. She made you feel loved.

She had a way of making you feel loved and appreciated, even on your worst days. Losing her meant losing that sense of love and affection.

5. She challenged you.

One of the things you loved about her was that she challenged you to be your best self. She pushed you to try new things and to step outside of your comfort zone. Losing her meant losing that sense of growth and ambition.

6. She was unique.

Everything about her was so different and unlike any other person you’ve ever met. Her quirks, her mannerisms, and her sense of humor were all unique to her. Losing her meant losing that sense of novelty and individuality.

7. She brought joy into your life.

When she was around, you felt genuinely happy. Her presence brought joy into your life, and without her, you’re struggling to find that same sense of happiness.

8. She was your home.

She was the one person you felt truly comfortable with, the one person who felt like home. Losing her meant losing that sense of safety and security.

9. She understood you.

She had a way of understanding you in a way that no one else ever has. Losing her meant losing that sense of connection and understanding.

10. She made you feel normal.

In a world full of chaos and uncertainty, she made you feel like everything was okay. Losing her meant losing that sense of normalcy and stability in your life.

If I Miss Her But She Doesn’t Want Me, What Can I Do?

Here are five tips for what to do if you miss her but she doesn’t want you back:

1. Give yourself time to grieve.

It’s natural to feel sad and hurt when someone you care about doesn’t feel the same way. Take some time to process your emotions and allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship.

2. Respect her decision.

It’s important to respect her decision if she doesn’t want to be with you. It may be difficult to accept, but forcing the issue will only push her further away.

3. Focus on self-improvement.

Instead of dwelling on what you can’t have, focus on improving yourself. Use this time to work on personal goals, develop new skills, or engage in hobbies that make you happy.

4. Stay positive and socialize.

Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Make time for friends and family and engage in social activities. This will help keep your mind off of the situation and may even lead to new opportunities and connections.

5. Consider seeking professional help.

If you’re struggling to move on or are experiencing severe emotional distress, it may be helpful to seek the support of a therapist or counselor. They can help you work through your feelings and develop healthy coping strategies for moving forward.

You miss her so much because she was such an important part of your life. She made you feel important, loved, and supported. Without her, life just doesn’t feel the same. It’s okay to miss her, but it’s important to respect her decision and take care of yourself during this difficult time. With time and effort, you will find happiness again.